20 Weeks

I should probably write more about things unrelated to baby, but I haven't been blogging about unrelated things since, like, last fall. Plus, I kind of want to keep track of what's going on.

And, if I'm being honest, being pregnant is sort of all consuming. I can't even live life without thinking about the perils of parenthood, let alone blog about it. It's kind of hard to pretend your life isn't going through an astronomical change when you have ginormous boobs and belly constantly reminding you.

With that said, I've kept both of us alive for 20 weeks! We're halfway through, and the panic of unpreparedness is starting to sink in! On the plus side, we found out we're having a boy!

20 weeks

I know I'm supposed to have pretended like I wanted both genders equally, but man, was I rooting for a boy. I come from a family of all girls, and little boys are stupidly adorable, so I was hoping for something different.

Plus (I'm going to get sentimental for a minute), I think Mike is probably the greatest type of man ever, so I really wanted to raise a son to be like him. To be sweet and polite, and funny and nerdy.

Interestingly enough, the day we found out, as we're driving away from the Dr.'s office, I started to think about it, and I started to get a little sad that we weren't having a girl. It caught me off guard, because I was FIRMLY Team Boy, but it would have been cool to raise a girl. A self-assured, funny, chill girl. Now I worry that even if we have another kid, I'll never get the chance.

And since I'm crazy, and thinking WAYYYY too far in the future - boys tend to marry and sort of follow the lead of their wives. And girls? They stay close to home. OMG, am I really thinking about my still-gestating son marrying off?

Pregnant Update

I should do one of those pregnancy updates, yeah?

16 Weeks

18 Weeks

How far along? 19 weeks, 3 days.

How big is baby? According to babycenter.com, “Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato”

Total weight gain: The last time I checked (over a week ago) it was 6lbs. I’m sure it’s more now. I’ll know for sure on Thursday

Maternity Clothes? I’ve finally succumbed to a mostly maternity wardrobe. I made my own maternity jeans, which is pretty badass. But, they are seriously, SERIOUSLY comfortable.

Stretch marks? No. And if what I hear is true (that they’re genetic), I may avoid them. Fingers crossed.

Sleep: I’m doing well! I only wake up to pee once a night. I can still kind of sleep on my stomach, and I’m not having any gruesome pregnancy dreams. Except the other night when I dreamed that January Jones was teaching me to breastfeed and I was legit honking on her boob to see if that’s how it worked…

Movement: I haven’t felt anything yet. Well, maybe I did. Once?

Food cravings: EAT ALL THE FOOD. Spicy foods are the best. Fast food. I suck at eating healthy these days.

What I miss: Booze. Oddly, I am NOT at all a big drinker. But once I can't have it, suddenly I want all the drinks.

What I am looking forward to: Thursday. We find out the sex! I’m more excited to reveal this tidbit than I was to reveal I was pregnant.

Milestones: Having someone who I don’t know very well touching my belly. That happened last week. It was weird, but I got over it. But the big one will be finding out the sex ON THURSDAY!

Oh, and THIS: I can’t stop farting. It’s really attractive.

Life Changes.

My, oh my. It has been a long time.

I've meant to blog. Oh, how I've meant to! But, life, yanno?

I've even meant to change how I write, because lately I've become obsessed with chronicling my life. Like, making sure my pictures are organized in scrapbooks and don't exist on Facebook only. To make sure I remember my interesting stories. Which is why I wanted to change how I wrote. I wanted to make sure I told stories and shared pictures here...rather than ramble-y stream-of-consciousness posts...such as this. But, I guess I have to start somewhere, yeah?

In life news...I'm pregnant. I'm due 9/2, and 13 weeks along today. It's been strange and scary and exciting. Mostly exciting. Unfortunately, I'm kind of bad at, like, doing stuff, so I haven't taken any picture of my bod. Well, one, but it was a test and I was in my underpants. And since I'm a respectable Sacred Vessel now, I think my days of posting pictures of me in my underpants on the internet are over. Plus, the only thing you can see is a belly full of farts. Yeah. You heard me. Farts.

I've felt great. NO sickeness, no heartburn. I had a few days where I woke up woozy, but some apple juice fixed me right up. I had terrible night-sweats for a week, and strangely dry eyes during the same time. But now? I realize I'm a really, REALLY lucky girl. Like, SUPER lucky. And I thank my stars for it.

This baby was totally planned (well, we planned to start in January, but got a head start and we found out on Christmas), but sometimes I still freak out. I'm mostly excited - we're starting to do nursery stuff, and collect baby things, and have conversations about names and life - but it's such an astronomical life change.

For instance, we went out with friends last night (well, I think at this point the only people reading my blog anymore ARE real life friends. HI!) and it was fun! But also, super hard. I was kind of mourning for my old life. And yeah, it's already my old life. Granted, we do have friends with a kid, but it's strange to move from one group (childless) to another (with child). Obviously, this is a process that I have to work through, and I have complete faith that I'll be fine with it - especially once the baby is born. But right now? It's still kinda hard.

I can't make long term plans for exciting events, because I genuinely have no idea what it's like to be SUPER pregnant or to be a brand new mom. Obviously my standpoint is selfish - but I've been able to be selfish for a long time. But my definition of fun is going to drastically change, and I just can't imagine what it's like on the other side, at least not yet.

Don't get me wrong, I knew all of this was coming. I totally knew my life would change, and I also knew that I was going to have to work through it. I'm not really upset, or unhappy, it's just...strange. I'm a work in progress, I guess.

Is it really bad that I'm not pretending that having a baby is all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns? I hope not, otherwise I'm going to look like a huge dick. But at the same time, no matter how wanted this baby is, and how much you look forward to this new chapter, can't you still be a little said that the existing chapter is ending? Because this last chapter was really fucking awesome, and I hope the next one tops it.