My New Life

In 2012 I blogged about 3 times.  I think all three were pregnancy updates.  That's sad.  It makes me sad.  Since then, my life has changed IMMEASURABLY.  Like, I can't even properly formulate the words.  But I can put it in pictures!!

Just born

6 weeks

2 months

3 months

Christmas (almost 4 months)

My life change is named Miles, and he was born on September 3rd.  I woke up at 5am on Labor Day to a contraction. 

I have to go on a tangent for a minute.  When you're pregnant and wondering what labor feels like, a lot of women annoyingly say "you'll know," which drove me crazy because I'm a research-oriented person and there had to be SOME sort of sign besides that!  Well, I'm going to have to give that annoying response to other pregnant women.  While I was pregnant, I experiences all sorts of aches and pains and cramps, and once I was full term EVERY ONE was an "OMG, WAS THAT A CONTRACTION?!?" But once I was in labor, I knew.

After that first contraction, another one came 4 minutes later.  And another about 5 minutes after that.  I kept track of them for 45 minutes, but they were never more than 5 minutes apart.  I had already started to move and get things organized, because I was sure we were going to the hospital and I was having that baby TODAY.

At 6:45 we dropped my dog off at my parents' house, and my mom looked at me and knew I was having that baby soon.  I was shaking, but still not panicked, hell, I wasn't even sure we would be admitted.  But on the 20 minute drive to the hospital I have about 11-ish contractions (I didn't really keep an close count), and one or two started to feel like pressure.

Once we got to the admitting desk, the ladies were joking with me about whether I was a "consult" or whether I would be "admitted". But after they saw me have a contraction, they immediately changed me to an admitted patient.

We made it to the room, and we requested the birth tub. But I was checked and I was ready to push, so I wasn't able to use it.  I had to wait a short while until my midwife arrived, but I was able to start pushing as soon as I was ready.  Compared to contractions, pushing was miserable.  I hated it.  In about 10 pushes, and about an 45 minutes - 1 hour Miles Sullivan made his grand entrance to the world. 3 hours and 30 minutes from first contraction to birth, 9lbs 14 ounces, 21.5 inches.

Since then, I've adjusted to being a mom, juggling that with being a wife, friend and family member.  It's a lot, but it's been a riot.  This little meatloaf has ruined me.  I'm so soft now.  Commercials make me cry.  His beautiful sleeping face makes me swoon.  I'm a total sap.  Which leads me to my most interesting life change...I quit my job.  I now officially stay home to take care of my babeh and my house.  I was just not OK with someone else getting to see him all day.  We're making it work financially, but it's scary.  Personally, I LOVE staying home.  It suits me.  But I can absolutely see why this doesn't appeal to some women.  

I'm planning to write SO much more this year.  I missed this.  A lot.  We'll see how it goes!

I hope everyone had a wonderful and healthy holiday, and here's to a lovely 2013.

Life Changes.

My, oh my. It has been a long time.

I've meant to blog. Oh, how I've meant to! But, life, yanno?

I've even meant to change how I write, because lately I've become obsessed with chronicling my life. Like, making sure my pictures are organized in scrapbooks and don't exist on Facebook only. To make sure I remember my interesting stories. Which is why I wanted to change how I wrote. I wanted to make sure I told stories and shared pictures here...rather than ramble-y stream-of-consciousness posts...such as this. But, I guess I have to start somewhere, yeah?

In life news...I'm pregnant. I'm due 9/2, and 13 weeks along today. It's been strange and scary and exciting. Mostly exciting. Unfortunately, I'm kind of bad at, like, doing stuff, so I haven't taken any picture of my bod. Well, one, but it was a test and I was in my underpants. And since I'm a respectable Sacred Vessel now, I think my days of posting pictures of me in my underpants on the internet are over. Plus, the only thing you can see is a belly full of farts. Yeah. You heard me. Farts.

I've felt great. NO sickeness, no heartburn. I had a few days where I woke up woozy, but some apple juice fixed me right up. I had terrible night-sweats for a week, and strangely dry eyes during the same time. But now? I realize I'm a really, REALLY lucky girl. Like, SUPER lucky. And I thank my stars for it.

This baby was totally planned (well, we planned to start in January, but got a head start and we found out on Christmas), but sometimes I still freak out. I'm mostly excited - we're starting to do nursery stuff, and collect baby things, and have conversations about names and life - but it's such an astronomical life change.

For instance, we went out with friends last night (well, I think at this point the only people reading my blog anymore ARE real life friends. HI!) and it was fun! But also, super hard. I was kind of mourning for my old life. And yeah, it's already my old life. Granted, we do have friends with a kid, but it's strange to move from one group (childless) to another (with child). Obviously, this is a process that I have to work through, and I have complete faith that I'll be fine with it - especially once the baby is born. But right now? It's still kinda hard.

I can't make long term plans for exciting events, because I genuinely have no idea what it's like to be SUPER pregnant or to be a brand new mom. Obviously my standpoint is selfish - but I've been able to be selfish for a long time. But my definition of fun is going to drastically change, and I just can't imagine what it's like on the other side, at least not yet.

Don't get me wrong, I knew all of this was coming. I totally knew my life would change, and I also knew that I was going to have to work through it. I'm not really upset, or unhappy, it's just...strange. I'm a work in progress, I guess.

Is it really bad that I'm not pretending that having a baby is all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns? I hope not, otherwise I'm going to look like a huge dick. But at the same time, no matter how wanted this baby is, and how much you look forward to this new chapter, can't you still be a little said that the existing chapter is ending? Because this last chapter was really fucking awesome, and I hope the next one tops it.