Monday, December 28, 2009

Holiday Recap

Christmas was a raging success. Mike and I managed to play Musical Families and make sure everyone was happy. Everyone liked their gifts (or at least pretended to very convincingly). But most importantly, I can now say the holidays are over. NYE is it doesn't count.

Mike and I aren't much for thw holidays, so we've been looking forward to 2010 to really get a fresh start. We can refocus on the house and eating well and budgeting and going to the gym. I'm rooting for 2010 to be a significantly better year than 2009.

I'm off work until January 4th, so it's my job to work on getting our life back on track. Today I've got to shovel the foot of snow off the driveway. I've gotta start organizing the study and getting ready to PAINT. A very soft gray. I've got my fingers crossed.

Unrelated: I love tattoo shows (LA Ink iz on)

Have a lovely day, Birdies.

Friday, December 25, 2009


I am blogging at my kitchen counter blogginh from my new DROID.

Guys, I am in love.

Also. I am very glad the holidays are almost over. They have been exhausting!


I wrote this gem on 12/15/05, my junior year in college during finals week.

T'was the Night Before Wasted

Twas the night before Thursday, and all in their rooms
not a female was stirring, all preparing for doom.

Their books were all opened and so were their notes
re-reading and memorizing their professors' quotes

The roommates where chained to their computer desks
The vast amount of studying had become quite grotesque

While the roomates are trapped in finals-week-hell
I had nothing to do but watch old SNL

When into my brain popped an excellent idea
"I'll rewrite this poem, with the word gonorrhea!"

I rushed to my room and opened a browser
The creative juices started flowing like, OMG WOWZA!

And what does my truly genius brain start to think
"Wow, our garbage really does fucking stink,

It's invading my room and offending my nose,
and I really feel bad for those studying hoes"

Come Friday a celebration is our ultimate goal,
With Smirnoff and Jack and Captain and Skol.

Lets go Bacardi and Grey Goose, Miller and Bud
We'll go to the bars and pick up a stud.

We'll choose a man with the same build as Claus
He'll be much younger 'cause of statutory rape laws

He'll have drunk rosy cheeks and a sexy beer belly
It won't jiggle nearly adorably as a bowl full of jelly

He'll be dressed in the appropriate douchebaggy wear,
With a popped collar pink polo and gel in his hair

He'll be pervy and horny and buy us all drinks
"getting action tonite!" that's what he thinks

With a wink of his eye, and a look up and down
We realized we should get away from this clown

We rushed to the bathroom, and soon we were free
Amen for the excuse "I have to pee"

The boys at the bars annoyed like a buzzing mosquito
This was our cue for a delicious burrito

Bar time was called and we exited fast
We saw the dude from earlier and ducked our heads as we passed

What a good way to end Fall 2005
Happy Drinking to all, and I hope all survive.

Nice. I'm quite the poet.
Have a Merry Christmas.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Rest in Peace

My posting has been pretty lackluster lately, but I've been preoccupied lately. Mike's grandfather was hospitalized last Friday (12/11/09), and he passed away Saturday (12/19/09). We recently learned that he had been diagnosed with Lymphoma, though we are unsure for how long he had it before we were told.

On Friday the 11th, apparently Mike's grandmother (Honey) went to wake up his grandfather (Papa), but he was nearly unresponsive. He could barely walk, he couldn't talk, and he looked like death warmed over. Mike's dad and brother immediately came over to drive him to the hospital where he had been seeking treatment already.

We found out that his blood oxygen level was in the 30's, when for healthy people it would be in the 90's. His brain wasn't getting any oxygen.

On Saturday, he was a little better, he was responsive, and his vitals had improved. But that didn't last very long. By Sunday he had been intubated because his lungs were filling with fluid and he was having a lot of difficulty breathing . We were told that he had pneumonia. The hospital had to sedate and paralyze him because he was continuing to wake up and fight against the breathing tube.

From Monday to Friday the 18th, his vitals wavered between sable and unstable, until Saturday, when the hospital told the family that there wasn't anything left to do. The pneumonia was shutting down his lungs, he was losing blood, and his body was riddled with infection. He was taken off the ventilator Saturday afternoon.

You guys, he was 65. And literally, like two months ago, healthy and big and loud. Even at Thanksgiving, once we knew about the Lymphona, he was still larger than life. He was an unholy pain in the ass, and he was one of those people who was supposed to live forever, if for no other reason than to tease and harass and make fun of you until he outlived you.

Yesterday was awful. I went to the hospital not really knowing that they were going to take him off the ventilator. I thought we were just visiting. Seeing Mike's grandmother lose the most important thing in her life was the worst experience of my life, to date. They lived for each other. They worked together, shared the same bed for 50 years, as she said, she doesn't know how to live without him.

I thought I handled everything well, until we left Mike's parents' and stopped at mine. I. Couldn't. Stop. Crying. When we got home, it kept up. Part of the problem was seeing MY parents, and thinking about Mike's mom, and part of the problem was that Mike wanted to spend the night at his parents' so that he could play video games with his brothers, and the thought of sleeping alone made me lose my shit. I'm a baby. And a jerk.

We miss you, John

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Peeping Tom.

This has been the longest week in history. Every day has felt like Thursday or Friday, but clearly it hasn't been. And boy howdy, I am tired. Not to mention, I am totally sucking a life lately. But, we won't dwell on that.

No, I want to talk about people. And how much I love them. Not in like an everybody-is-beautiful-and-they-have-some-pure-goodness-in-their-souls kinda way. I like watching them...I loooooove people watching.

When I was in elementary school, I was pretty quiet on the bus ride home, but I used to watch the big, mean, loud kids like a HAWK. They fascinated me. One day, a horrible, mean girl caught me staring and asked, angrily (cause she was a bitch. And I would wager that to this day, she still is a bitch), "DO YOU HAVE A STARING PROBLEM?"
And in fact, I did have a staring problem...I still do have a staring problem. Even when I was a wee one, other people intrigued me.

I think that is why I love blogging so much. In reality, I don't consider myself a writer, and writing doesn't cleanse my spirit, or bring my great joy. Occasionally, it will bring me satisfaction if I compose something really cool...but that's pretty rare.
I like blogging because I get to be a peeping tom into the workings of other people's lives. See how you live, and what you do, and what makes you happy/sad/angry. I'm creepily studying everyone.

WOW. This post already makes me sound like the ultimate creeper. That's alright. I am kind of a creep.

But on another note, I think in the last two weeks I've said "I love freaks" at least four times, which is absolutely not a polite way to say it, and I would love another way to articulate my genuine affection for people who go to extremes. But I mean I love people like the Lizard Man

(image from

and the Tiger Man

(image from

and Zombie Boy

(image from

I think they are insanely interesting, and I would LOVE for them to tell me about their life, and the decisions they've made, and how they got to where they are. These are mainly examples of extreme body modification - which I am always interested in. I'm planning to watch Modify this weekend. I started it a while back, but had to stop because Mike and my sister got grossed out.

But these people I've listed above, they have made the conscious decision to do these things. I am also also totally fascinated by addicts, and hoarders (the shows on A&E have made it possible to access their lives). Mainly because I don't understand, and I want to.

The same thing goes for serial killers, John Wayne Gacy, Ed Gein, Charles Manson.
Sometimes I wish I had gone into psychology or sociology or even criminiology, to try to understand why these people did what they did. Though I have a feeling you can never really understand why a man kept a pair of lips on a string.

Now, I've gone from making myself sound like a creep, to making myself sound really morbid and dark.

I recently gave one of my coworkers access to my blog, and after reading it she said, "I think I know more about you right now than I did 45 minutes ago." In blogging you often write about things that you wouldn't talk about normally, so it kind of gives people unrestricted access to your mind.
My whole point is that I had another commuting-epiphany, when I realized that the reason blog, is to read about other people. You guys are great.

Also, I really need to work on ending my posts. It seems like I just drop off.

Like this.

Monday, December 14, 2009

i @m 4@><0r (or: I am Haxor)

I dId 50M37HiNG UN7hiNk@8L3 L@57 NigH7.
@7 $oM3 poiN7 0Ver 7h3 w3ek3nd, 0UR Wir3l3$ r0u7eR g07 j@CKed Up, and I7 m@n@g3d 70 CH@nG3 0UR n@7 s377INg5 70 $7rIc7 - 7HI$ m3@n$ MIk3 c0ULD n0 l0Ng3R c0Nn3C7 70 C0D.
7his r3@Liz@7i0n filL3D Him WI7h R@G3, @ND H@d N0 de5Ir3 70 7Ry 70 g0 7Hr0ugh 7He RiG@M@r0l3 70 7rY 70 Fix i7. h3 W@$ R3@dy 70 wRi73 0Ff c0d f0R3V3R.
h0W3v3r, i f0und hI5 rag3 7o 83 @wFuL @ND @nN0yINg, $0 i $7ar73d l00kiNg up DiReC7ioN$ 70 ch@ng3 n@7 $3t7InG5 (WhIch i$ In$@N3ly @nN0YInG, 70 5@Y th3 L3@s7). @f73R dI5@8LiNG, tH3n 3n@8Ling 0Ur uPNP, ch@Nging 0UR dmz 70 Giv3 7h3 X80x @n Ip @ddr3$5 0u75iD3 tH3 R0U73R (0r $oM37hIng LIk3 7H@7), @Nd 5377ing UP p0r7 f0Rw@RDInG F0r 3 P0rt$ - i FIx3d it.
L37 M3 saY 7hI$ @G@IN, i fIx3D I7. i r3p@Ir3d 7h3 b3@$7 tH@7 i h@73 7H3 m057. @nd N0W, It I$ $7RoNg3R 83c@us3 It h@5 my 8l00D, 5w3a7 @ND t3@r5.

i7'5 Lik3 h@rrY P0773R, wh3r3 VolD3m0R7 re7UrNs 70 P0wer @f73r 7@kinG H@rrY'5 8Lo0D.

I 70ld MIke 7h@7 7H3 P@ymen7 F0r MY 53Rvic3$ r3nD3R3D i$ 8r@ggINg @80U7 h0w @We50M3 i @m... h0W3Ver, 5InC3 h3'$ N07 0n 3M@il 70d@y, i'M g0ing t0 7@K3 c@re 0f i7 f0R him.

I did something unthinkable last night.
At some point over the weekend, our wireless router got jacked up, and it managed to change our NAT settings to strict - this means Mike could no longer connect to Call of Duty (an Xbox game...his favorite).
This realization filled him with rage, and had no desire to try to go through the rigamarole to try to fix it. He was ready to write off CoD forever.
However, I found his rage to be awful and annoying, so I started looking up directions to change NAT settings (which is insanely annoying, to say the least). After disabling, then enabling our UPnP, changing our DMZ to give the Xbox an IP address outside the router (or something like that), and setting up port forwarding for 3 ports - I fixed it.
Let me say this again, I fixed it.
I repaired the beast that I hate the most. And now, it is stronger because it has my blood, sweat and tears.

It's like Harry Potter, where Voldemort returns to power after taking Harry's blood.

I told Mike that the payment for my services rendered is bragging about how awesome I am... However, since he's not here, I'm going to take care of it for him.

In summary, I am l33t, and awesome. And there was a lot of jumping around and screaming once it was fixed - because HOO BOY that was a pain.

Friday, December 11, 2009


I just spent 45 minutes compiling information to send in a work email.

I had to look up item codes, and manufacturing purchase order numbers, and I had to check three different screens. It wasn't thought provoking material, it was just so tedious.

And then...AND THEN...I selected all, just to make sure they were a uniform font, and accidentally ctrl+X'ed everything. No big deal! I can just ctrl+V it back!

For one reason or anther, I couldn't.
I couldn't undo. I couldn't paste. It's GONE.

Moral of the story: I shouldn't do work. Just surf the internet.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Norway Lights!

Have you seen this?!?

(image from Universe Today)
This light was seen in the sky in Norway, and no one knows what it is.

First it was picked up by tabloids, now other news sources are starting to follow the story.
Universe Today
Gizmodo - WITH it.
The Daily Mail

However, there's this video below that shows an unrelated and unmanned spinning rocket booster. There have been reports of a Russian launch, but those claims have been denied.

UPDATE (12/10/09): The Alien Overlords won't be coming for us any time soon, say New York Times. Only a missile failure.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Something to be proud of?

I figured out Google Analytics! I defeated the beast!

It turns out that every time you change your layout, you're going to have to paste the TRACKING CODE from Analytics into your html. (I don't think I even did that from the beginning) But I did it last night, and all of a sudden! I've got STATS. People who visit, numbers of page views, average time on the site! SWEET LORD! There is no end to the information I can harvest! I'm really proud of the fact that I figured it out. And, oddly, the fact that people are reading my corner of the internet makes me proud too.

I still really like Disqus too. It makes me very happy to be able to respond to comments. It is a million times easier to build relationships and acknowledge that I like you.

And now for something totally unrelated:
All of a sudden I'm this ray of sunshine. It's like there's no room for negativity anymore.
I had a weird epiphany of acceptance yesteray in the car on my way home (epiphanies usually take place in my car while commuting), and I was all, "I'm not flawless, and that's OK"

Mike and I were talking the other weekend, and we realized that we are currently very indulgent. We don't deny ourselves much, we do what we want, and we aren't at the top of our game. But you know what, I'm OK with it...for now. My kitchen is messy, my job isn't my ideal, my commute is long, I have to do lists that remain un-done...BUT I'M OK.

I have no intention to remain like this forever. But we just moved, we're just married, it's winter and we're adapting. And that's OK. We put too much pressure on ourselves to be awesome, but we're already ahead of where we thought we'd be.

For now, I need to focus on being happy, and rediscovering the joy of hanging out with other people (I've been a hardcore hermit lately). I need to find a routine that is low pressure, but still gets everything done. I need to start crafting and sewing more because it is fun.
(I made a sad little stuffed christmas tree the other day...still need to take pictures).

I'm going to use this holiday to revamp my attitude, and 2010 to revamp my habits. I'm going to start making changes to head in the right direction, and make life more fun.

I think a lot of this has come from the awesome, sweet, challenging and supportive comments you guys have left.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Positives

My life isn't all mourning and despair - here are some of the good things we've got going on...

The house is starting to turn into a home.

- I hung a huge drape (floor to ceiling) to cover our massive window (which you haven't seen because I'm keep forgetting to take pictures). I created this 15 ft x 9ft masterpiece out of a painter's dropcloth ($20) and a curtain rod on sale from JoAnn Fabrics ($36). Idea snagged from various posts on Apartment Therapy

- I made The Pioneer Woman's meatloaf from her cookbook, and the Buttered Rosemary Rolls from her website. The rolls were ahhhh-mazing
Unfortunately, I needed to keep putting the meatloaf back into the oven...1 hour wasn't long enough.

- We're daydreaming about cool installations we can make for our ceiling:
(Image from LeSophie)

(Image from The Selby)

(image from Craftzine)

- The new year is right around the corner, and after we file our taxes, we'll find out how much we will receive in tax credits for buying the house. This opens up a WORLD of possibilities! Wood floor! Butcher block countertops! Making the office an OFFICE (instead of our storage room)!

Christmas is coming
- I decorated for Christmas and made finger-knitted-garland to go on the railing.

- This weekend we are getting our first REAL tree and decorating the shit out of it.

- Saturday I am participating in an evening in Chicago with some of my lady friends. We will bring drinks and food and stocking stuffers. And it will be great.

- I got the OK from my gracious and wonderful boss to take off 12/23 - 1/4. OMFG. I want to PEE because I'm just that excited.

Life isn't so bad
- My commute has consistently been 1 hr and 10minutes. UNHEARD OF!

- I have a steady job and a steady paycheck. And Mike likes his new position.

- The possibility of opening the etsy shop at the start of the new year is becoming a possibility. Maybe. I hope?

- I'm wearing a dress today. And I like it.

- I'm planning to follow along with the Demoiselles Getting Healthy project. I'm planning to do almost exactly what they do...only here. And linking back THERE to make sure I give credit where credit is due.

- I had a dream that I hung out with Kyla Roma and Your Wishcake and they were sweet and wonderful. And I woke up feeling so creepy because I've never met them, yet they've appeared in my dreams. The internet makes me weird.


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