My New Life

In 2012 I blogged about 3 times.  I think all three were pregnancy updates.  That's sad.  It makes me sad.  Since then, my life has changed IMMEASURABLY.  Like, I can't even properly formulate the words.  But I can put it in pictures!!

Just born

6 weeks

2 months

3 months

Christmas (almost 4 months)

My life change is named Miles, and he was born on September 3rd.  I woke up at 5am on Labor Day to a contraction. 

I have to go on a tangent for a minute.  When you're pregnant and wondering what labor feels like, a lot of women annoyingly say "you'll know," which drove me crazy because I'm a research-oriented person and there had to be SOME sort of sign besides that!  Well, I'm going to have to give that annoying response to other pregnant women.  While I was pregnant, I experiences all sorts of aches and pains and cramps, and once I was full term EVERY ONE was an "OMG, WAS THAT A CONTRACTION?!?" But once I was in labor, I knew.

After that first contraction, another one came 4 minutes later.  And another about 5 minutes after that.  I kept track of them for 45 minutes, but they were never more than 5 minutes apart.  I had already started to move and get things organized, because I was sure we were going to the hospital and I was having that baby TODAY.

At 6:45 we dropped my dog off at my parents' house, and my mom looked at me and knew I was having that baby soon.  I was shaking, but still not panicked, hell, I wasn't even sure we would be admitted.  But on the 20 minute drive to the hospital I have about 11-ish contractions (I didn't really keep an close count), and one or two started to feel like pressure.

Once we got to the admitting desk, the ladies were joking with me about whether I was a "consult" or whether I would be "admitted". But after they saw me have a contraction, they immediately changed me to an admitted patient.

We made it to the room, and we requested the birth tub. But I was checked and I was ready to push, so I wasn't able to use it.  I had to wait a short while until my midwife arrived, but I was able to start pushing as soon as I was ready.  Compared to contractions, pushing was miserable.  I hated it.  In about 10 pushes, and about an 45 minutes - 1 hour Miles Sullivan made his grand entrance to the world. 3 hours and 30 minutes from first contraction to birth, 9lbs 14 ounces, 21.5 inches.

Since then, I've adjusted to being a mom, juggling that with being a wife, friend and family member.  It's a lot, but it's been a riot.  This little meatloaf has ruined me.  I'm so soft now.  Commercials make me cry.  His beautiful sleeping face makes me swoon.  I'm a total sap.  Which leads me to my most interesting life change...I quit my job.  I now officially stay home to take care of my babeh and my house.  I was just not OK with someone else getting to see him all day.  We're making it work financially, but it's scary.  Personally, I LOVE staying home.  It suits me.  But I can absolutely see why this doesn't appeal to some women.  

I'm planning to write SO much more this year.  I missed this.  A lot.  We'll see how it goes!

I hope everyone had a wonderful and healthy holiday, and here's to a lovely 2013.

20 Weeks

I should probably write more about things unrelated to baby, but I haven't been blogging about unrelated things since, like, last fall. Plus, I kind of want to keep track of what's going on.

And, if I'm being honest, being pregnant is sort of all consuming. I can't even live life without thinking about the perils of parenthood, let alone blog about it. It's kind of hard to pretend your life isn't going through an astronomical change when you have ginormous boobs and belly constantly reminding you.

With that said, I've kept both of us alive for 20 weeks! We're halfway through, and the panic of unpreparedness is starting to sink in! On the plus side, we found out we're having a boy!

20 weeks

I know I'm supposed to have pretended like I wanted both genders equally, but man, was I rooting for a boy. I come from a family of all girls, and little boys are stupidly adorable, so I was hoping for something different.

Plus (I'm going to get sentimental for a minute), I think Mike is probably the greatest type of man ever, so I really wanted to raise a son to be like him. To be sweet and polite, and funny and nerdy.

Interestingly enough, the day we found out, as we're driving away from the Dr.'s office, I started to think about it, and I started to get a little sad that we weren't having a girl. It caught me off guard, because I was FIRMLY Team Boy, but it would have been cool to raise a girl. A self-assured, funny, chill girl. Now I worry that even if we have another kid, I'll never get the chance.

And since I'm crazy, and thinking WAYYYY too far in the future - boys tend to marry and sort of follow the lead of their wives. And girls? They stay close to home. OMG, am I really thinking about my still-gestating son marrying off?

Pregnant Update

I should do one of those pregnancy updates, yeah?

16 Weeks

18 Weeks

How far along? 19 weeks, 3 days.

How big is baby? According to babycenter.com, “Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato”

Total weight gain: The last time I checked (over a week ago) it was 6lbs. I’m sure it’s more now. I’ll know for sure on Thursday

Maternity Clothes? I’ve finally succumbed to a mostly maternity wardrobe. I made my own maternity jeans, which is pretty badass. But, they are seriously, SERIOUSLY comfortable.

Stretch marks? No. And if what I hear is true (that they’re genetic), I may avoid them. Fingers crossed.

Sleep: I’m doing well! I only wake up to pee once a night. I can still kind of sleep on my stomach, and I’m not having any gruesome pregnancy dreams. Except the other night when I dreamed that January Jones was teaching me to breastfeed and I was legit honking on her boob to see if that’s how it worked…

Movement: I haven’t felt anything yet. Well, maybe I did. Once?

Food cravings: EAT ALL THE FOOD. Spicy foods are the best. Fast food. I suck at eating healthy these days.

What I miss: Booze. Oddly, I am NOT at all a big drinker. But once I can't have it, suddenly I want all the drinks.

What I am looking forward to: Thursday. We find out the sex! I’m more excited to reveal this tidbit than I was to reveal I was pregnant.

Milestones: Having someone who I don’t know very well touching my belly. That happened last week. It was weird, but I got over it. But the big one will be finding out the sex ON THURSDAY!

Oh, and THIS: I can’t stop farting. It’s really attractive.

Life Changes.

My, oh my. It has been a long time.

I've meant to blog. Oh, how I've meant to! But, life, yanno?

I've even meant to change how I write, because lately I've become obsessed with chronicling my life. Like, making sure my pictures are organized in scrapbooks and don't exist on Facebook only. To make sure I remember my interesting stories. Which is why I wanted to change how I wrote. I wanted to make sure I told stories and shared pictures here...rather than ramble-y stream-of-consciousness posts...such as this. But, I guess I have to start somewhere, yeah?

In life news...I'm pregnant. I'm due 9/2, and 13 weeks along today. It's been strange and scary and exciting. Mostly exciting. Unfortunately, I'm kind of bad at, like, doing stuff, so I haven't taken any picture of my bod. Well, one, but it was a test and I was in my underpants. And since I'm a respectable Sacred Vessel now, I think my days of posting pictures of me in my underpants on the internet are over. Plus, the only thing you can see is a belly full of farts. Yeah. You heard me. Farts.

I've felt great. NO sickeness, no heartburn. I had a few days where I woke up woozy, but some apple juice fixed me right up. I had terrible night-sweats for a week, and strangely dry eyes during the same time. But now? I realize I'm a really, REALLY lucky girl. Like, SUPER lucky. And I thank my stars for it.

This baby was totally planned (well, we planned to start in January, but got a head start and we found out on Christmas), but sometimes I still freak out. I'm mostly excited - we're starting to do nursery stuff, and collect baby things, and have conversations about names and life - but it's such an astronomical life change.

For instance, we went out with friends last night (well, I think at this point the only people reading my blog anymore ARE real life friends. HI!) and it was fun! But also, super hard. I was kind of mourning for my old life. And yeah, it's already my old life. Granted, we do have friends with a kid, but it's strange to move from one group (childless) to another (with child). Obviously, this is a process that I have to work through, and I have complete faith that I'll be fine with it - especially once the baby is born. But right now? It's still kinda hard.

I can't make long term plans for exciting events, because I genuinely have no idea what it's like to be SUPER pregnant or to be a brand new mom. Obviously my standpoint is selfish - but I've been able to be selfish for a long time. But my definition of fun is going to drastically change, and I just can't imagine what it's like on the other side, at least not yet.

Don't get me wrong, I knew all of this was coming. I totally knew my life would change, and I also knew that I was going to have to work through it. I'm not really upset, or unhappy, it's just...strange. I'm a work in progress, I guess.

Is it really bad that I'm not pretending that having a baby is all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns? I hope not, otherwise I'm going to look like a huge dick. But at the same time, no matter how wanted this baby is, and how much you look forward to this new chapter, can't you still be a little said that the existing chapter is ending? Because this last chapter was really fucking awesome, and I hope the next one tops it.

The Fifth of November.

Happy Guy Fawkes Day!

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Remember, remember the 5th of November. The gunpowder, treason, and plot. I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.

Thoughts on Facebook.

It's been a long time since I've posted. And if I'm being honest, not a whole lot has happened. It's been a pretty chill month. And I like it.

I'm starting to give some serious thought to deactivating my Facebook. I love it and I think it's a fabulous invention, but I'm starting to get uncomfortable with the amount of information that is shared and sold and whatever.

With the new changes I'm seeing my friend's comments and likes on random people's statuses. Which means that random people can see things of mine. I don't need my entire friends list to see when I comment on a status, and I don't need their friends to see my status.

The downside of leaving is obviously that I'll have less access to my faraway friends and family, and less access to photos. But there are just too many individual setting to organize, and it's so much clutter. And I can't creep. No more creeping.

I'm a HUGE lover of technology and internet, but I do have my limit. I strongly dislike being constantly connected, and value the nights and weekends when I am away from my computer.

Maybe if I DO deactivate it, it'll encourage me to connect in other ways? Phone calls? Cards? I can't say that facebook distracts me from life, because I make it a point to NOT use it during my downtime. But the information shared on FB is becoming less valuable to me, and it's starting to feel like a chore to maintain it (this is how I felt about Twitter).

I'm still not 100% on what I want to do, but I'm going to give it a bunch of thought. If I can figure out these changes, and make sure my visibility is locked up, then I may consider changing. But I've heard that there are MORE changes coming, and I just don't know if I want to navigate those.

Ren Faire 2011

Oh my, it's been a while! And it's been even longer since I actually made a post, you know, with words.

I can't believe the summer is already winding down! The weather is already starting to change - this very morning I started second guessing my choice of sandals as footwear. Though, it's very likely it could shoot back up to 90 degrees again very soon. (Damn, I just checked the weather and we're looking at 90s again on Thursday...)

This past weekend Mike and I went to the Bristol Renaisance Faire. It is absolutely our favorite thing to do all summer. I'm not even sure why we love it so much. It's shops, and kid activities, and shows and food. But it has, hands down, the best people watching I've ever stumbled across.
This past weekend was Steampunk weekend, which culminated in a costume contest. So many of those who were dressed up looked spectacular.

This summer has been eventful, but also low key. It's been strange.

Pottermore Frenzy

I got in!
(though it was a shallow victory)

Username: CauldronLight144

Saturday, July 30th

It is Saturday morning. I woke up at about 9:30am, despite falling asleep at a grandmotherly 11:30pm. I had big plans to start cleaning out closets and getting rid of things I don't need. But then, I sat on the couch, watched a little 30 Rock, had some unhealthy cereal and coffee. And now? It's after noon, and I'm still here. Only now I'm watching Parks and Recreation.

Mike came downstairs shortly after me, and now he's napping across from me on the couch. Maddie has taken up her usual spot on the back of the couch, watching for some unseen threat to our home.
We haven't had a Do-Nothing type of weekend in a while. Mike has been working on weekends for the last two months. Last weekend I was out of town and Mike hosted friends at our house. So this? While it feels so wrong, is much welcomed.

The end of an era and solidifying my fanaticism

This is what my afternoon consists of....

Oh you know, after I got THIS:On a whim :)
I am madly in love with my super simple HP tattoo. It couldn't have turned out better.

And tonight, I'm seeing the movie at 8pm. As much as I love the atmosphere of the midnight movies, I'm just too, too tired to stay up and watch it. I want to see it when I'm awake and aware and comfortable.

I am so sad about this era ending, but so happy that I was able to be a part of this amazing literary juggernaut. From non-stop reading, re-reading, to midnight book releases, and midnight showings (in my younger years). Making t-shirts to buying t-shirts and COUNTLESS other HP related items. I've been a fan for 11 years. It's been the longest love affair of my life (sorry, Mike).

These books have been a bright spot whenever I'm sad, or stressed or generally frazzled. And the movies have been such an amazing interpretation of their content. I am genuinely sad to see everything conclude - but at the same time, there's still a whole other Potter-life ahead of me. I hope to someday get Mike to read the books, and introduce them to my future kids, not to mention the endless possibility of reading them over and over and over again.
As JK Rowling said at the London premiere, "Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

And that is all I have to say about that.
For now.

Red lipstick.

I am feeling lethargic, but hopeful.
I miss Mike, but I appreciate it far more when he's present.
I can't wait for the last Harry Potter, but am so sad that it is ending.
I am hungry, but too lazy to cook.
I'm super nervous about my future, but confident that everything will be just fine.

Wallow-y Blog Post :(

Remember last post when I said I was handling everything well? Today, it crashed down around my ears. Hard.

I've been sick since Tuesday, and it's been a constant annoyance. And because of it I haven't slept properly since...Tuesday.

This morning Maddie was being a bundle of nerves, and I couldn't figure out why until I went upstairs and found out that she threw up. I tried to comfort her (throwing up terrifies her) and then she threw up some more. Sorry. That's gross. But it's been awful. She's OK now and back to psychotically watching the birds out the back window.

Plus Mike is working today, and is going to go into work again on Sunday. And worked late almost every day this week. I don't know what to think of it, because he's not some brain surgeon where people die in his absence. But it makes him feel better to make sure he's ahead of the game, and apparently this is his busy season. It's just really, really hard.

I've been cleaning all morning and I hate it, and I just burdened my poor mother with a self-pitying sob-fest. I'm a mess. I feel like nothing is going right. But, I know it's not true, and everything is going to fit into place, because, well it has to. I have so many things to be excited about and to work hard for, but right now, nothing fits. It feels like I'm wearing an too-small suit.

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I've had my cry, and I've written a wallow-y blog post, so now it's time for me to buck up, buttercup and get my act together. I'm going to pull myself up by my bootstraps and whatever other cliche feel good-eries I can think of. I'm going to have some lunch, and finish cleaning and, and get in a good head space, and finally sit down and try to actually make some progress reading The Hunger Games.

A Smattering of Thoughts

I've been feeling...overwhelmed lately.
Between life changes, job restructuring, travel recovery, budgeting, various sicknesses and devastatingly hot weather I'm just feeling a little overwrought, under-slept and simply drained.

All I want to do it bake a cheesecake. But, as I told Mike in a email yesterday, I feel like that's a winter dessert, and cookies with bright summery flavors seem more appropriate.
Edit: I found FAR MORE recipes for summery cheesecakes. So many more.

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I want to do is go home and have a bonfire in my backyard with Mike. I want to cook a simple BBQ meal, and chill on our deck. And then, have some summery cookies. That I made. You know, with all the time I have on my hands. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

I feel like I should meditate on winning the lottery. I was watching one of the "Lottery Changed My Life" shows on TLC, and a crazy lady claimed that's how she did it. Can't hurt, right?

Image via San Diego trip

I do not have a green thumb. I can grow flowers OK, but vegetables and herbs are out of the question. However, the flowers are questionable this year. Just ask my suffering Hydrangea. :(

I think I should eat more brie. I had it on a sandwich (turkey, brie, granny smith apple and I BELIEVE dijon mustard) and it was awesome.
Also, I want to pickle something. Probably cucumbers, resulting in...pickles.

I've written a LOT about food so far. But, day-um girlfriend is hungry.

Oddly enough - even with all this random stuff floating around, and changes taking place, and stressful situations sitting on my head, I feel SURPRISINGLY calm. Like, usually, I would cry at the drop of a hat, throw a few tantrums, but not lately. I'm handling more and more with a shoulder shrug, and acknowledging what I can't control.

Image via San Diego trip :)

Also, I used to think I was a Type A personality (and maybe once upon a time I WAS a Type A), but I now believe I am a Type B...and I took a few online tests (the most reliable kind of test *eyeroll*) and confirmed it. I scored a 23/100 on an abridged test.

You possess many of the characteristics of a Type B personality. Type B persons are characterized as having a "stop and smell the roses" attitude towards life. They are very relaxed and rarely become hostile, aggressive or competitive. Open-minded and forgiving, they are of a flexible nature. Type B persons tend to follow either an "Everybody Must Win" or "Live and Let Live" credo; they have a more passive and submissive slant to their personality. In either case, whether to fight a cause or simply stand up for themselves, Type B persons sometimes lack the drive that could help them achieve their goals. You yourself may want to work on building up some more initiative and dynamism. Otherwise, you run the risk of missing out on important opportunities. Pushing yourself and competing a little bit for your place in the sun can certainly add some spice to your life.

I took a few more and got the same result. INTERESTING. But taking those tests always send me into a weird thought-spiral of "would I REALLY do that? Or is that just what I would like to THINK I would do?" So I often doubt the validity of those tests. How can you TRUTHFULLY assess yourself. I think everyone has a slightly skewed perception of themselves.

Wants and Needs: Friday!

It's Friday! Friday!
Gotta get down on Friday!

Sure has been a while since I've done Wants and Needs, and today is the day!
Feel free to play along.

Without further ado:

Wants
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Needs
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image via my wedding

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Through the Pensieve

I Open at the Close

Book Expo ADVENTURES!

Remember how I used to write here? Oh, those were the days!!

I'm planning to HOPEFULLY get back into that groove very, very soon. Very. But for the moment, I want to tell you about my travel adventures!

I attended Book Expo America in NYC this past week for work, and while I find flying to be one of my least favorite activities, I do have to say I did have an entertaining time.

My job was to tend to our booth, answer questions, direct people where they need to be directed and give/take business cards. Well, a gentleman sidled up to the booth looking for international distribution of his novel, but unfortunately, we do everything internally, and don't work with outside authors. Well, it was towards the end of the day, and I was curious so I asked him about his novel and learned that it is a western romance novel. And then? He gifted me with a copy.

AND THEN? I asked him to sign it, and he graciously complied.

So now, I am the proud owner of a signed copy of my very first western romance. And I'm gonna read the SHIT out of it.

Other than that the show was mostly uneventful. I enjoy attending trade shows and conferences, it makes life a little more interesting and I do end up learning a lot.

I was all set to fly home on Wednesday. My flight was at 10am (NYC time) and arrive home 2ish hours later, well I got to the airport WAY too early (which is fine, I prefer that) at 7:30am, and when I looked at the board a TON of flights to Chicago were delayed/cancelled, so I texted my mom and found out Chicago was being beaten on by terrible weather. At that time my flight was still on schedule.
Nervously, I kept checking, and it stayed on schedule. So I made myself comfortable.
20 minutes before boarding, I checked again. It was delayed an hour.
And then another hour.
And then another hour.
And then another 15 minutes
And then the fire alarm in the airport went up as I was dozing off. And then I had a heart attack, and died. Not really, but I might as well have.
And then I was delayed another half hour.
I finally got on the plane at 1:45pm NY time.
And then we sat on the tarmac.
Then we taxied to the runway.
And then we sat.
And sat.
And then the captain said that we were waiting for a reroute.
And THEN we took off, and the captain told us that we were going to have to go up through Canada (I waved!) and come to Chicago from the north. So the flight was (I THINK) an hour-ish longer than it should have been.
I landed, life was good, and I got on the monorail-y tram that takes me to my parking lot.
AND THEN the tram comes to a stop, in the middle of the tracks, and they make an announcement that we're having technical difficulties.
At this point I am just laughing and laughing, because this can't be real!
And we sat there for about a half hour waiting for a technician to board and fix it.
All the while, I'm stuck on this tram with a guy in real estate who is having a screaming match with his office.
AND THEN I got to my car at about 5pm, and had to drive home in rush hour traffic.

It was a ridiculous ending to a hilarious trip.

Upcoming San Diego Trip!

As usual, it's been many moons since I've last updated. But, like I said before, I've been totally entrenched in to-dos, git 'er dones, and, you know, things.

BUT! Here I am, on the home stretch. In 1 week Mike and I are traveling to San Diego to visit our longtime friend, Cam, and his awesome girlfriend Dawn.

A visit in October 2008

Chicago, October 2008

At a wedding in October 2010

After the October wedding

Cam and I have been friends since...7th grade? We met in band. So we've been friends for, LITERALLY 13 years? Oh, sweet lord.

Thanksgiving break 2006

After me and Mike's wedding ceremony, May 2009

Probably one of my favorite pictures. Ever.
Me and Mike's reception, May 2009

When Cam moved to San Diego in 2005, I promised I'd visit. I think I renewed that promise every year. But this year! This is the year. Plus, Cam is moving soon, so this is my last opportunity. They are opening their home to us for 5 nights, and I couldn't be more thrilled.

Cam and Mike from our wedding, May 2009

Mike and Cam after a wedding, October 2010

Gazing deeply at each other, Christmastime 2010

Embracing lovingly, Christmastime 2010

Friends, and warm weather (when we arrive on the 28th, it will be sunny and 69°!) and a trip to the beach and not working and food. I cannot wait!

This also means that I have 1 week to wrap up my massive lists. You see, at the end of March, I took a calendar and filled in the dates with all the tasks I needed to complete before this trip.
And it ended up being an insanely huge list. There are still many small things I need to check off - but in one short week, my list will have to be done.

And after San Diego? I have 3 days to prepare for a party. And after that? All my to-dos will be to-done, and then I can focus on enjoying my summer! And maybe blog more? I have so many house makeover related things to show you!

Already planned:
1 May birthday celebration
2 June cabin trips (one of which is a birthday celebration)
1 July cabin trip
1 Renaissance Faire Trip
HP and the Deathly Hallows FINAL MOVIE
HP tattoo?
1 trip to New Buffalo, Michigan for a birthday celebration

AND IT'S ONLY APRIL.

Updates on my boring life.

The last time I wrote was on March 1st. And since then:

- I went to a Boobie Bash to raise moneys for a friend who will be walking in the Avon Breast Cancer Walk in Chicago. Mike and I bought a shitload of raffle tickets and consequently won 4 raffle prizes.



- Put this on my Facebook, and am now extending the invite here:

Via Rachelle- Pay it forward 2011!
I pledge to send a handmade something to the first 5 people who comment on this post (and specify that they want to play) and who update their status/Twitter/Facebook/blog with this same offer (please link back). The rules are that YOU have to make it with your own hands and that you must send it sometime in 2011.

- Saw Rango and thought it was delightful. A wonderful change of pace.

- Started listening to Girl Talk, and physically felt my cool quotient increase exponentially.

- Got EXTREMELY excited for St. Patty's Day. Seriously, it's my favorite holiday because it's about food and drink, and there are NO obligations. However, in prepping my corned beef and cabbage, my garbage disposal clogged. I spent the next 2 hours elbow deep in drain sludge and pieces of cabbage. Luckily my mom is EXTREMELY handy, and Mike was dedicated to freeing up the plumbing.

-Fell madly in love with Rebecca Black's Friday. Seriously. I don't care what anyone says, it's a festive song.


- Have been debating canceling cable. I'm planning to write a whole post on that, but it's an ongoing saga.

- Started re-reading all 7 Harry Potter books again. I want to finish them just in time for the 2nd installment of Deathly Hallows.
- Watched the Leo DiCaprio and Claire Danes version of Romeo and Juliet and remembered HOW INSANELY AWESOME IT IS.

- Had some out of town friends visit! Had people over (then fell asleep on my own couch, because I'm cool like that)

- Had the roof and siding replaced on my whole house!

- Started painting my stairs - dark treads and white risers, like this. Quickly found out that this is not as fun or easy as I thought. Currently, the half finished staircase is giving my hives.

- Started thinking about the Derby Party
And I think that brings us about up to speed.

I've been terribly unmotivated to write, and absolutely SLAMMED at work and at home.
April is the beginning of lots of things to do, and birthdays and Spring CLEANING! So I'm up to my eyeballs in to-dos and obligations. I feel like I'm totally spinning out of control, but then I remember that all these obligations and events and whatnot are fun and awesome, and I'll figure it out.