I've started watching the show Fringe on Fox, and OMGWFTBBQ!!! It's awesome. I would marry it if I could (and I wasn't already married). But it made me realize I lead a very low-risk lifestyle.
For example, in the 2nd episode, there was a murderer who picked up hookers to do surgery on...while they were paralyzed, but fully conscious. (It was awful.)
And I started thinking "Oh, wow. How awful to be abducted and put in such a horrible sitation" and I realized that I have very little reason to fear - I don't live in a major city. When I do visit a major city it is as a tourist, usually during the day, and in well populated areas. I'm not risky.
But beyond that - my life outside of my location and its respective crime rate is also very low risk.
I went to college in state.
I bought a house in my childhood neighborhood
I've had the same friends since I was 14 or younger
I've never traveled internationally
I make all my decisions carefully - weighing pros, cons, financial obligations, time obligations, etc etc.
But, I didn't always used to be like this. In 2005 (my junior year of college, which some of you read about the other day, but I have since deleted it) I was a nude model for a life drawing class. I participated in Alternative Spring Break at the Carnivore Preservation Trust, where I fed tigers and drove across the country with bunch of strangers. I was the housekeeper for the most interesting man I've ever encountered.
I mean, maybe those weren't some of my best decisions, but I made them without consulting everyone, and that's the point.
Right now - what I'm doing is working; my bills get paid, my family gets fed, I'm decent at my job. My life is very safe, and in very little danger of being disrupted or uprooted...but honestly, maybe that's what my life needs?
All this deep thinking has made me start to wonder whether I should get away from blogging. It makes me look my sedentary, robot existence in the face, and I'm very displeased with what I see. Plus I use this blog for writing about the negatives, rather than all the positives - which is just counter-productive. I just don't know how to start steering my life in the direction I want it.