Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Fever.

I've got a fever. And, unfortunately, the remedy is not more cowbell.

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I've heard people talk about the Baby Fever before, but I was always like, "No, no. That's not real"
But, it kind of is. And, I'm a survivor of The Fever.

No, but seriously, I want kids. I think I'd make a badass mom, and Mike an awesome dad. I have no doubt (and neither does Mike) that we will have kids and it will be ahhhhhmazing. But right now? No fucking way. I know there's never a right time to have kids. But there is a WRONG time, and for me, this is it.

I'm totes off track.
But lately, I've been feeling the pangs of The Fever. Mostly in the form of facebook updates by my peers who have had kids, or are having kids, or are newly pregs. Also, the ridiculously cute bloggers who have recently given birth.

I told Mike about this scary phenomenon the other day, and the best way I can describe it is that the emotional part of my brain gets crazy-whiny and is like, "Wait! I could totes handle a baby right now. It would have blue eyes. I can name it Sally! Or Don! I'll do the bedroom a mint green and I want to use cloth diapers. WAIT! I need to find a midwife, NOW!" and this continually escalates until I'm ACTUALLY researching midwives in our area and reading birth stories and sobbing.

But while this is going on, there's a quiet rational part of my brain going "No. Kids are a bad idea. We don't have enough money saved. You drive 1.5 hours to and from work. You don't even LIKE the name Sally and Don! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! STOP TYPING THAT INTO GOOGLE!" But by then it's too late, and I've bookmarked 3 sites and added 5 new names to my "Potential Baby Names" list.

I told Mike about this and he just laughed and laughed, because when it comes right down to it, that rational part always wins, and I'm able to laugh at it too. But by god, sometimes it is REALLY fun to indulge The Fever, and start reading about how cloth diapers REALLY work and whether there ARE any good midwives in the area.


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