Merry Christmas??

I'm pretty gung-ho about Christmas this year.
Well, actually, I'm forcing myself to be pretty gung-ho about Christmas this year.

I used to get excited about the IDEA of the holidays. I remember being in middle school band, and every year we would play a mini Christmas concert, or maybe just songs for funzies (I can't remember), but I would get AMPED when I first heard Christmas music. But after a while, it would fade and I would be over it.

Last year's Christmas party veggie pizza - FESTIVE!

As I've gotten older, my Christmas cheer has lessened even more. Part of that, I think, is just getting growing up and having more holiday-related obligations and trying to budget time and money to make all of them work. Especially now that we're married, we have to try to cram 2 or 3 whole Christmas celebrations into 2 days.

But, I think my MAIN struggle is buying Christmas gifts. Britt touched on this in one of her posts, but I'm a TERRIBLE gift-buyer. Let me preface this with - I'm a terrible shopper in general. I start out with all these great things in my arms, and by the time I'm ready to check out, I've put almost everything back.

Last year's Christmas party - MATCHING TURTLENECKS

In addition to that, I just NEVER know what to get. I over-think the gifts I pick up, then I put them back, and then pick them up again, and say "fuck it! I'm buying this!" Then I walk around for 15 more minutes, usually talking to myself about how this gift is stupid, and they're just going to return it, before putting it down and then picking it up one last time. Before you can say "Rudolph", I'm sending frantic texts to Rachelle and my mom and Mike about how I want to shoot fire out of my eyes.

On top of all this whining, I was at my parents' house two nights ago, talking Christmas with my mom, and my DAD comes in and starts hating on the holidays. And that's when it dawned on me: I am my father's Scrooge-y child.

But this year? I want so DESPERATELY to be Christmas-y. I WANT to be cheerful. I WANT to feel celebratory. I WANT to be festive.

Last night at my house
Hot spiced cider, chocolate chip cookies, Christmas Glee

So, since Dec 1, I've been listening to Christmas music...NONSTOP. My house is already decorated (since BEFORE Decemeber). I've started shopping (the earliest EVER), and I've purchased Christmas cards.

I'm going to be festive, GODDAMNIT. I'm going to be so festive it HURTS. And I'm going to be that FESTIVE, even if it kills me.

What are your thoughts on the holidays? Do you LIVE for this time of year? Or are you having trouble channeling your inner St. Nick?