Apparently this is my 100th post. Nice job, me. I genuinely didn't think I would make it...or manage to notice it before it passed me by.
I'm snowed in today. I called in to work because it would have taken me 3 hours to get to get there, and the commute home would have been worse. Luckily, my boss has a hefty commute too, so she understands...I think.
But beyond that, in thinking about my 2010 resolutions, I've been thinking about things that I need to either change or let go of.
Most of the time, when something upsets me, I take action to change it, but there are 4 things that I am constantly talking about, and I always feel like I'm circling a drain. I need to decide whether I am going to take actual steps to change these habits or situations...and if I'm not, then I need to accept it, and move on.
1) My TV watching: I. Love. Television. But I also hate it. Oftentimes I feel like Homer Simpson, and that my ass has created a divot in the couch. When I get home from work, I look forward to curling up with a blanket and the dog and watching Fringe, Lost, Glee or something significantly less intelligent (Teen Mom! The Bachelor! American Idol! Intervention!) But I could easily fill that time with more productive endeavors. I could blog more carefully, I could read a book (though, in my defense I do read very often), I could start creating things for my pretend Etsy shop, make a nutritious dinner, DO LAUNDRY. But at the end of the night, after my soul-sucking commute, I just want to veg out.
I have concluded, that I will accept this trait, with minor alterations. I will make sure that my responsibilities (cleaning, cooking, laundry) are taken care of, BEFORE I hunker down for the night. It's NOT OK to be a slug from the moment I walk in the door. ALSO, I need to use the nights where there's garbage on TV to do something else. Read more. Start sewing. Knit. Crochet.
I am OK with using TV to relax and disconnect from my day, I just need to balance.
2) Gossiping: Sigh. When I say 'Gossip' I don't mean talking shit, for the sake of talking shit. I don't cut people down just to do it. By 'gossip' I mean the sharing of information that has not been specified as confidential. I have a very close knit group of friends, and we've been friends for nearly 12 years, so I make it a point to know what's going on with everyone, good or bad. I keep myself informed, and in turn I keep the other girls informed. I like to be a hub of information.
The reason this is up for change, is because while most of the time it is harmless, occasionally I still feel weird about it. (Duh, I just spent a paragraph justifying it...obviously it's not as innocent as I would like it to be).
I've decided that I need to scale back. Truthfully, it probably won't be much (like I said, I like to be a hub of information), but I'm going to try...
3) My commute: This is a situation where I feel very "shit or get off the pot", because I've been struggling with this for over a year. At first, my job was really stressful, and I would have had very little problem leaving for something else. However, when I got promoted in July, everything changed. I adore my boss, my coworkers are great, and the work is more interesting. But the length and stress of the commute drains me, and when I get home I just want to pass out in front of the TV. As I'm writing this, I'm starting to see that this might be the root of most evil. My commute drains me, so I don't want to do anything (Like WORK OUT...see #4, and I go home and pass out IN FRONT OF THE TV...see #1).
I think I, unfortunately, need to work to change this. This is going to be exceptionally difficult because one of my coworkers just gave two weeks notice, finding a job is tough right now, and I'm not sure where I want to go after this. HOWEVER, when WILL I know where I want to go? I would sit forever and speculate various career paths or jobs I might enjoy...but that's all it will be, speculation.
4) Working out: I'm not going to get into this. I need to work out. I need to start doing it soon. I need to get my life back on track.
This post didn't end up at all how I had hoped, but guess what? I'm lazy, so I'm not fixing it. This post is weird and awkward and probably makes me look bad, but I can live with that.