Some nonsense...

I'm TOTALLY going to see Eclipse tomorrow. No, no, no...not at midnight, or anything. I'm going straight after work.

That show, Pretty Wild, is ridiculous. It makes me hate life. But also? I love their drama.

I almost died when I watched the new Deathly Hallows trailer today. I. AM. EXCITED.

This movie is going to change my life.

I can't wait for the weekend. Mike and I are going to DO STUFF! And BE PRODUCTIVE! and HOORAY!

OMG - My tomatoes are growing! MY TOMATOES ARE GROWING! Just one single green one.
And my green beans haven't been eaten by the slugs! I have THREE BEANS!

I spent the day talking to two cool people about hotel plans, which made me EVEN MORE excited to meet them face-to-face.

I've started researching the smoothest way to transition from Blogger to Wordpress. I'm nervous. I just need a long afternoon to figure it out. And figure out Feedburner. And I've started to think about buying my own domain name. I feel like I don't have enough people who care to warrant buying my own domain.

Heidi Montag is ALL SORTS of batshit. WOW.


That is all.

Weekend Outlook

This is what I hope my weekend looks like:

Friday


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Saturday
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Sunday
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What does your weekend look like??

Sometimes you just need to vent.

Have you ever had one of those days where absolutely nothing goes right. Not even that, but everything goes terribly, terribly wrong. Today. Is. That. Day:

• Maddie isn't feeling so hot, so she's not sleeping well, and has to be let out in the middle of the night.
• The cat is completely nocturnal at this point, and routinely gets bored around 3am. He keeps busy by knocking over glasses of water, and playing with his toys that have jingly bells on them.
• Because of the previous two, I'm exhausted.
• I was running too late to make myself breakfast.
• My debit card didn't work at the gas station, so I had to use the credit card (which I HATE to do)
• I didn't have enough cash to get breakfast on the way to work, and since the debit didn't work I remained hungry.
  
• I got a bunch of unnecessary emails that made me SO stabby.
• I still have to call the vet, and that makes me very anxious.
  

Nothing is going right today, you guys! What makes it worse is HOW TIRED I am. I turn into a raging lunatic when I'm roused from slumber, or am over tired (Sorry, Mike!)

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All I want to do is:

• Make decadent cupcakes
• Listen to the thunderstorms
• Watch True Blood
• Read Dead in the Family
• Re-evaluate my life plans
• Solidify a budget

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I feel very confident that if I was allowed to do these things, everything would get back on track and I would feel right as rain. But alas, I need to put on my big girl pants and power through the day, get things done when I get home, and overall, be a productive person.

On a more postive note, I had a GLORIOUS weekend in Lake Geneva with some of the finest women I know.

Shit got nuts, and I got serious when Single Ladies came on.

Oscar and I have a very intense relationship.

I believe this Sunday I will be heading to Chicago to go to the Pride Parade. I am thrilled. I've wanted to go for a long time, but going to the city intimidates me, unless I have city-savvy companions. This year, I do.

And GUYS! I've successfully cooked two nights in a row.
Monday was The Pioneer Woman's Grilled Chicken Sandwich with Apricot Sauce. Seriously, so good and SO easy.
Tuesday was honey horseradish salmon with dill potatoes and asparagus.
Tonight! I shall make BBQ Chicken and Pineapple Pizza, modified from The Pioneer Woman
Tomorrow! Pulled Pork!
I'm ALL OVER THIS.

Mild bad news: the slugs are DESTROYING my plants. They have eaten the little sprouts that were appearing on my bean plants. Those poor plants. They've been broken, and mended and sad and almost dead, but they've come back every time. But the slugs look like they're defeating them. The SPROUTS! Ahhhhhhhhh.
I need to reevaluate my garden and yard for next year. It's all about trial and error in my house...

Slow Moving

This slow movement that I keep hearing about? I think I need to jump on it. But - I don't really know how.

I feel like my life pace is pretty slow now. But, maybe it's not the right kind of slow. Or it's not even slow at all - I think it's just lazy.

As much as I would like to make a declaration that "THIS IS MY NEW PLAN!!!" I'm tired of making plans, and then having them fall by the wayside because 1) I have no time to implement them 2) I have very little motivation to do anything, after sitting in traffic for two hours 3) I suck.

Remember these?
I'm going to run every day of May!
I'm going to get up at 5am to run!
I'm going to grow my hair long enough to donate to Locks of Love!
I'm going to do 101 things in 1001 days (OK, technically, this is still under way)
I'm going to volunteer!
I'm going to run a 5K in June!
I'm going to make a 25 things to do in my 25th year list!

Does anyone know where I can buy motivation?

You know what, Debbie Downer? Suck it. EDITED 6/18: I need to relax. While I haven't gotten SOME of my declared goals done - I've gotten many MORE accomplished, and I will continue to chip away at the ones listed above.
I friggin' bought a house, and still have money in the bank.
I have three families to juggle, and we do an OK job of it.
According to my Wii Fit, I am not yet overweight. In fact, I am OK with my softer shape
(though, not OK with my inability to walk an incline, or climb stairs...)
I just wrote another post about how I was getting better at being an adult, and I really need to cling to that mentality.

I'm OK. I just have PMS, and looked through 354 pictures of the BP oil spill - that'll ruin your day. It's been kind of an ugly week, but thankfully it is almost over. I'm craving Panera for lunch, and I'm going to get it.

In this similar vein, I need to cut down on TV in favor of reading books. I love to read, and I'm not sure why it's a struggle. Plus, now is the TIME. Summer TV is garbage.
I still need to watch Dr. Who, however...

This was a weird post. Sorry about that.

NO WORK FOR ME TODAY!

Happy Birthday to me!

This is Butters Stotch (named after our favorite South Park character), the newest member of our little family, and my birthday present from Mike!

We brought him home yesterday, after adopting him from our local Humane Society Outreach
event. He and Maddie are almost BFFs already. But he still gets a little jumpy when Maddie gets too excited.


I kind of love him and think he's adorable. He's pretty fearless, and really chill. I need to invest in a squirt bottle because he's already terrorizing one of my houseplants.

Also - Happy Birthday Momma P. !!

The best mom a girl can ask for.

Wants and Needs

Because it's Friday, and because it's my work-birthday, and because it's muggy outside, and because half my office is gone, and because I'm lazy, and because it's been a while, and because I want to!
Today is Wants and Needs day!

Wants

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Needs

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BECOMING adult.

So, when I was in college, I was all "OMG, I can't wait to be done with school so that I don't have to do anymore HOOOOOOOOOMEWORK. Life will be all fun and games because all you have to do is work, and the rest of your time is YOURS!!"

Little did Ashley Version 2006 know that college was the closest I would get to a nap, ever again. Once I crossed the stage and manhandled my diploma, GONE were the days of watching 6+ hours of The Hills marathons. GONE were the days of staying up until 2am facebooking, AIM chatting and drinking my face off.

I was under the impression that 1) after I got my diploma magazine editors were going to be kicking in my door to work for them (a la The Devil Wears Prada) 2) I was magically going to have a splendid wardrobe and 3) once I came home from work, I was going to have all the time in the world to do cool adult stuff - like watch rated R movies and eat buckets of ice cream.

It's taken me, what? Like 3 years to realize that - OMG, being an adult takes practice. I've spent many, many hours over these last three years beating myself up becuase I didn't feel adult enough. I felt like everything was falling through the cracks and that I was just BAD at being a grown up.

But lately, and I mean VERY lately, it's dawned on me that, just like every new skill, becoming GOOD at being adult takes practice. And, this realization came because I started to feel comfortable being an adult. Yes, I fall off the wagon and leave dishes all over, and my floor is a little dirty, and sometimes I don't make it to the bank in a timely fashion...but everything, and every DAY is an improvement.

Most days, I am able to get out the door for work, look decent(ish), make it home to make dinner, and make the house presentable. I've gotten comfortable with this routine. So now, I feel like I need to step it up a notch, and part of that will be the goals I outlined a couple of days ago. Mainly, I need to exercise more, watch TV less, and spend a little more time nurturing my creativity and reconnecting with my books.

All this? It starts tomorrow with getting up at 4:50am, so I can be out the door and jogging at 5:00am. Cross your fingers that Sleep Ashley doesn't turn off the alarm until 6:00am.
(She's known to do this in the past. And by "past" I mean this morning)

I am accepting that it takes a little longer to learn to juggle all the responsibilites that I've been putting into practice since I graduated, and because of that, I'm beating myself up less. Life is pretty chill these days, dudes.

Has anyone else had this realization? How are you adjusting to adult life? Has anyone just kind of been like "this is easy" - warning: I might eat your face.

In other news:

* I have set beer traps in my garden to try to stop the damn slugs from eating MONSTROUS holes in my sunflowers, green beans and radishes.
* I did my hair all Rosie the Riveter style on Sunday morning. I spent Saturday night watching Mad Men and pin up hair tutorials - and LOVE IT
* I realized how awkward I am at taking self-portraits. OMG. Makes my skin crawl!
* Mike has given me the go-ahead to get a cat, if I really want one. We've talked about it since before we got Maddie (hell, we went to the shelter with the intention of getting a cat, not a dog...oops), and I waffle back and forth. Worrying about the pee, mainly. But lately, I've been watching videos of Maru, and watching my neighbors fatty orange cat from a distance, and now I'm thinking this is kind of a great idea. I've ALWAYS had cats, and I think they're lovely.
* I need to start working on my 25th year life list! My birthday is coming up, and I need to make sure I do something awesome with the year. Additionally, I think I need another birthday tattoo. Maybe it's time for some Harry Potter love?

GET MOTIVATED

In light of yesterday's frustrations, I've been thinking of making some changes.

Yeah, I'm not really good at this. I mean, seriously, I've made similar promises and proclamations, and pronouncements before and haven't followed through.
But, dude, I'm over the funk that I've been in for the last two years.

Starting this weekend I will:
* Visit the farmer's market on Saturdays, and be there by 9am (it opens at 8am)
* GET UP AT 5AM on weekdays to go running. (OMG, this terrifies me.)
* Go to the library on Sundays. To read, to research, to get OUT of the house.
* Structure my time better.
* Make sure my kitchen is clean before I go to bed. NO MATTER WHAT.
* Read, at least for a little while, each night.
* Make a menu and grocery list on Saturday (after the market), and shop BEFORE 10am on Sundays.


I can do this, right?

Unexpected rage?

So, I tried to start this heartfelt post about having kids and my desire to (someday) be a mom, and then I had this insane outburst of rage because it came out sounding like garbage. It is now saved in the abyss I call my "drafts" and will probably never be looked at again.

I'm tired. Of life. Of my lack of motivation. Of my lack of funds.
(OMG, STOP.)
Of my bitching - HA!

I don't know which direction to travel, but I know I need to start heading somewhere. I feel like I'm growing barnacles.
I think if I were just able to cross a few things off my to-do list I would feel better. I always feel better when my to-dos are to-done.

I'm out of touch with people, and bummed about it. My 25th birthday is coming up, so maybe I'll take a page from Emily's book and make a manageable list (since my 101 list is going SO WELL :sarcasm:) of things I need to do FOR ME.

Wow, I am wallowing today! Yikes bikes.
I think it's because I'm wearing an ugly outfit.
And I forgot to go to the bank, and I'm still hungry.