Tuesday, March 17, 2009

What am I doing?

I. Love. Google. Reader.

I genuinely believe it is the greatest creation known to man. I can check all my favorite websites in one place. Even if they are blocked at work.

I'm totally uninspired lately. I mean - I drive 1.5 hours to work. Sit in my cubicle filing, entering data, crying hopelessly, and emailing Mike. I drive 1.5 hours home. I eat dinner and watch TV. I sleep. Occasionally I exercise. Most of the time I feel sorry for myself.

I think I want to move, but I don't. I really like being near my family and Mike's. I like being around when our friends come home. I like living in an area I know. I like being comfortable. I feel like maybe I'm trapping myself? Mike and I want to settle here, but in light of our new circumstances, affording a house doesn't seem to be in our immediate cards.

I've been reading Pioneer Woman lately,and I like her life. I like the thought of living a rugged, hard-working existence. I like being self-sufficient.

I'm losing sight of where I'm going to end up. I'm accepted to Roosevelt. I'm going to get into their Fast Track program and have my masters 16 months (or something) from August. I'm going to be a teacher. I'm going to teach. I'm going to have Christmas break, and Spring Break, and summer vacation!. This is good.
After that, Mike and going to go to school. He's going to become a teacher. We will have summers off together. We'll take road trips, and vacations, and sleep in late, and take long walks.
We will be active members of our community. We will feel tired and fulfilled at the end of the day. We will make some sort of difference.

It's just going to take a little while to get there.

Sorry dudes. I'm being crazy. The commute makes me crazy. I think I would be better off if I had a shitty job like this, but it was 20 minutes from my house. I need those three hours back. I need time for life.

I'm going to go back to reading about lives more interesting than mine.

1 comment:

  1. Completely understand the way you think. I find that everyone else's life is much more interesting than mine.

    I dream of a more fulfilling life than this... I mean this is pretty darn good! But still I feel something is missing - I don't know what that is but I am pretty much sure that I would know when I find it.

    I hope you get what ever you are looking for!

    BTW have you heard about the Chinese curse "May you live in interesting times"?? :-D



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