I feel crazier than usual.
Maybe that has to do with all the upheaval at work - including my transition into a new job. Maybe because I am sooooo tired of living in my parents' house. Maybe because I want to know what we're doing.
Mike and I...we don't know what we're doing. We're working, so that's nice. And we're trying to get a house, and that's nice. But what are we going to accomplish? I mean this isn't like an existential rant, all "What's the point? Why are we here?" But really? Why are we working these jobs? What do we want to be? Do we want to look towards making our world better? Do we want to make money? Do we just want to be OK with getting up for work?
I guess I need to focus on making my little corner of this life comfortable, and liveable and pleasant for us, and our families and our future-kids.
But, OH-HO! Speaking of future-kids. Mike and I went to his parents' last night for his bro's bday, and EV.ERY.ONE was asking when we were going to have babies. Our time frame is somewhere within 5-8 years. Partially because we want to be financially stable (yeah, yeah, everyone says that...but if we buy this house, we can't even afford cable...let alone a baby). We need to spend a little time growing into our mortgage. But another BIG part is that I'm not ready yet, and neither is he. I definitely want kids, and so does Mike, but right now, we're enjoying going out for sushi, staying up late (well, he stays up late), being able to drop $100 at Borders, or Amazon.com, buying new Apple gadgets, going away for the weekend. A baby just would NOT play into that. Just not yet. I want to be married, and get my married-legs before I start getting morning sickness.
I dunno dude. Turmoil? I haz it.